User blog:Bobdave/Lapras vs Gastrodon. Rap Battles of the Pokédex Season 1
OKAY. SUN AND MOON HAS ENTERED HYPE STAGE. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. BUT FUCKING NOVEMBER, JESUS CHRIST ;-;-;-;-;-;-;. *ahem* So quickly, 'fore I get into this sexy little battle, I'd like to mention that my first set of life-determining examinations will officially begin on May 17. This means no RBotP until after June 17, when they end. So you can consider this the three-quarter-season finale... maybe? But ye, I'm sure you're not despairing too much, so let's just do the normal explaining thing now. In this battle, the first contender is the Gen I 'Mon based on the Loch Ness Monster, the HM03 mule and the Transport Pokémon, Lapras (played by the amazing Cyan who went all out on his verses). The second combatant is actually two combatants; the first duo of the series! The purple-sludge-shooting Sea Slug Pokémon from both the East and West coast of Sinnoh, Gastrodon. The connection is something like sea-dwelling creatures with long necks and plesiosaur-like body shapes (although Lapras is the one based on a plesiosaur, Gastrodon's just a disgusting sea scrotum but ye). W00p! BEAT Icy Wind by Allrounda. Intro starts at 00:09 ---- 'Announcer:' 'West and East Sea Gastrodon:' Yo, it's West and it's East, prepped for besting this beast And the rest of his species that's left in the seas! Cuz we're poachers on a beat, your Ice Beam don't freeze Defeat us with your wittle gentle heart? Oh, please In fact, we invite you to throw your attacks We're on that Wolverine game, parts grow right back! We got those Mud-Slap raps and the Power of the Earth! To serve the turtle whose only purpose and service is Surf! 'Lapras:' You’re damn right! I’m in my element! I OWN the sea! I truly wonder where Red would be without me; That’s no power plant, Cinnibar or Seafoam islands Ergo; One gym badge less with no Articuno either! I’m the best in the biz when it comes to ferrying man More reliable, enjoyable and affordable than the S.S. Anne! So let’s keep this gentle, I’ll help you break out of your shell You’re either holding back or plain crap from what that verse can tell 'Gastrodon:' Think you can stand against our Sand Force? You couldn't if you tried to And bro, does your Ice Shard Harden when folks ride you? I heard you read minds, so tell me, what am I thinking? Is it "let's push this pacifist off the edge of extinction"? We'll leave this sailboat sinking, so swim back to Loch Ness Melting down your salty ass to Brine with our hotness Both sides of the island unite to smite you twice Cuz when you play with the Tritodon you pay the Pryce! 'Lapras:' I won’t take this from a pair of common garden pests! Why don’t you and color swap just go back to your selfcest? I tried to be helpful, you spineless sack of slime! You should flee from your Natural Enemy like you do all the damn time! I’m the original Gen 1 preferred water transport Pokémon! “I need to Surf! Better use my trusty Gastrodon” said no-one! You should have stayed a Shellos, you didn’t get better looking with adulthood And riding the waves just isn’t fun on a three-foot fucking sea slug! ---- *The logo is nowhere to be seen* RAP *The logo rides by on the back of another logo* BATTLES OF THE POKÉDEX Who won? Lapras Gastrodon Check out Cyan's stuff! ---- Hint for the next battle: In the shadows of Night Category:Blog posts